Quoted from the description:

If this doesn’t make you want to smile and say “Aww!”, nothing will.

I love nature. And animals. And cute things. When I see something like this or anything described in the song, I see God’s goodness reflected in His creation. So this video totally wins.

If there’s a single word that describes this video, it would probably be “adorable”.

The lyrics are available as a closed caption.

So, um… how do you suppose they filmed this?
—————
The song was written by Bob Thiele (using the pseudonym George Douglas) and George David Weiss, and was sung by the famous Louis Armstrong.

I’m not sure who the footage comes from, but evidently they don’t mind it being published online.

Bible references are taken from the World English Bible (WEB), which is public domain.

Currently, this video is not under a Creative Commons license.

So… VG Cats…

Sam is the one who discovered it. It’s somewhat random, but it’s a web comic about two cats–Leo and Aeris–who like video games. Sometimes they’re players, other times they act as characters in the games. It has a healthy share of adult content, so if you want to check it out, do so with that warning. For a sample that’s as clean as they get, here’s a memorable moment from The Legend Of Zelda: Wind Waker with the reaction so many players just wish they could give:
http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=66

Then there’s the queer Caramell Dansen craze, which, hands down, is the strangest Memetic Mutation I’ve ever seen. The author (his name is Scott) took it on himself to animate Leo and Aeris dancing to that song. Now I certainly enjoy cute things (and those two have a tendency to be cute at times or in ways you’d never have thought possible), but I’m not wild about that song. Wouldn’t you know, though, that their movements were roughly the right pace to fit to my favorite remix of what might be the most ridiculous song on the planet? I’m talking about The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny (by Lemon Demon) remixed by an artist with the screen name SaTIst.

The song is pretty much the answer to any and all questions in the form “Who would win in a fight between [Entity from Real Life/Series A] and [Entity from Real Life/Series A/Series B]?”. The song goes pretty fast already, and this remix actually has it even faster without sounding like a fast-forwarding tape. There are a number of YouTube videos that add some form of illustration to the song. When done well, these are hilarious. I’ll list some of my favorites below.

My video includes the lyrics as an option, and if you’re not familiar with them, then I recommend turning them on. It’s fair to warn you that the song contains two (and a half?) swears.

To display the lyrics:

• If you see the words “English: Lyrics” in the top left corner when the video starts, you’re fine.
• Otherwise, hover your mouse over the upward-pointing triangle in the lower right corner. You should see a box marked “CC”.
• If the box is red, the lyrics are on. If not, click it once to turn them on.

No cats were harmed (physically) in the making of this video.

So, without further ado, here it is:

[This video is under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike license. It should be attributed to this site, but not to a specific poster.]

You know, Scott says he named Leo and Aeris after his real-world cats. While I don’t doubt this is true, I can’t help but wonder if those names came from a certain pair of Final Fantasy characters who were killed (in different games) by essentially two incarnations of the same main villain?

Anyway, the video this animation came from can be found here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFyO7k0JG4M

The song does have an official animation, but it wasn’t actually made by the band and it’s not pretty. (The last few seconds really killed it for me.) Out of necessity, I will list it last.

Disney characters

Cartoon Network characters — The Chuck Norris groin kick is violently overdone in this video. In fact, it’s so overdone it’s hilarious; just be warned that it’s bloody.

Nickelodeon characters

Avatar: The Last Airbender characters

Invader Zim characters – Not as consistent as the others–that is, one role in the song can be played by multiple characters and vice-versa–but it matches the words pretty well and is pretty funny.

Dragonball Z characters — There is a single annotation in this video that doesn’t really add anything to it; you might consider switching annotations off. The reaction of “Chuck Norris” when “everyone” attacks is to die for. Also, you cannot beat this choice for “Benito Mussolini”.

X-Men characters — Definitely has the best “civilians looking on in total awe” to date.

The Official Animation — Don’t say I didn’t warn you…

This takes place back in the days where video games were on cartridges. Data could be saved and loaded FAST in comparison to today, and I believe a battery (made to last a long time) was used to keep your saved data when the game was turned off. Of course, for any of that to matter, the game has to actually load the saved data when you turn it on.

But this tale isn’t about a game that fails to load its saved data and erases everything you worked so hard to achieve (although, that has happened all too many times by itself). This is about games that fail to load your saved data, then successfully load it the next time you turn them on. Apparently, these games have the ability to suffer from temporary amnesia. Who would’ve thought?

Maybe it’s just dirt in the cartridge or some such explanation, but the fact of the matter is that many times I’ve started a game, watched the title screen, and found all my saved data apparently erased at the file select screen. After switching the game off, reinserting the cartridge, and turning it back on (often enough with a prayer of, “Please no, please no, please no, please no!”), 9 times out of 10, the saved data would be exactly as it should be. Admittedly, this sometimes took more than one try, but the data was still there.

With these games (and computers in general), deleted data is “freed” to be written over, but the data is not erased. It’s more efficient to do things that way—why write over the same block of data once to blank it out and once to write the new data in later when you can just write the new data in when you have it? There’s even one “famous” (read aloud “existent on the internet”) trick for The Legend Of Zelda: A Link To The Past to restore lost data (NOTICE: I don’t recommend trying this unless you have data you are willing to risk losing forever. You have been warned). You can read about it on this site (look under SNES and look up L—you’ll see it right away).

It would make some sense if it just failed to read saved data and wrote over it with new data if you saved again. But there’s one case that sticks out it my mind that throws off everything I thought I knew. I believe it was Super Mario 64 (but I wouldn’t swear to that). The beginning is obvious; I started it one day and the saved data was gone (3 files out of 4, I think). “Oh, well”, I thought, “I don’t mind starting a new file.” So I start a new file, play for a while, save it and turn it off. When I started the game up later the same day, the old saved data was back. The old file 1 with 120 stars had replaced that new one with 10 stars. Even if files 2 and 3 came back, shouldn’t file 1 have been overwritten? And that further begs this question: where the heck did the new file actually get saved to?

Memory cards and data saved on the system don’t seem to have these kinds of problems (not to my knowledge anyway). The closest thing to this here is when you insert the wrong memory card and panic for a brief moment when you don’t see your saved data. It would seem things are getting a bit better as time goes on.

I know I had some clever way to wrap this up, but… well, you get the idea…

The series is mostly in an episodic style—that is, ideally, it doesn’t matter which episode of two unrelated ones you watch first, both will make sense. There were big events every now and then that affected future episodes, but there was pretty much no such thing as Continuity Lock Out—you could begin watching at any time and figure things out. The downside here is that things rarely changed much, even when it would have made sense for them to.

The more one watches this show, the easier it becomes to spot Chekhov’s Gun when it appears. Namely, if the Fentons show off a new invention at the beginning of an episode, it will be useful (and usually completely outside of their knowledge) during the climax. Were the writers trying to be obvious? Because if they were going for subtlety, they failed at it pretty hard…

There were some very good character concepts (in fact, nearly all their character concepts are good). Unfortunately, a concept alone a character does not make—a number of them were portrayed… less than perfectly. Then there are the villains, who all too often received few enough appearances that even the interesting ones faded away before long. A number of them also shared the same stock motive of “taking over the world.” This motive quickly loses its significance when it’s all anyone is trying to do. Worse, the villains tended to diverge (far) from their original motivation in late appearances, meaning that a villain’s first appearance was usually their best. The end result is that the characters feel much more static than dynamic (and those characters that weren’t so static were closer to undefined). Too bad, because a lot of them had great potential.

Season 3 (out of 3) of this show deserves a (negative) special mention, because it seems to follow a much different agenda than its predecessors. This is the (primary) one where villains seemed to lose their identities or were left by the wayside. New villains who appeared seemed to be something along the lines of “the same villain each time, but with different abilities.” And how unfortunate it is that a lot of plots were pushed into the background by a developing romance (which was not hidden at all) that was “resolved” in the finale.

The authors’ favorites something like this:

Kyle:

Season one:
–Best- My Brother’s Keeper (#9) – Two great villains are introduced, Danny struggles with a realistic problem, and Jazz grows a personality develops her character nicely.

–Worst- Life Lessons (#18) – I always hated that weird flour-sack assignment—it makes no sense other than as a plot device. Also, Sam was the only one to receive an “A” (how surprising). There was one particularly funny joke here though: that moment “that never happened.”

Season two:
–Best- The Ultimate Enemy (#28-29) – Clockwork’s plan is impressive. Really impressive. On the other hand, it seems that the future they were trying to avoid would never have come about without his intervening anyway… (Think about how Danny got ahold of the test answers.)

–Worst- Beauty Marked (#34) – Among other things, Sam convinced a 1600 year-old society that modern ideals were better than the lifestyle they’d been living. In 10 minutes! She did it by being completely rebellious (probably her life’s dream), and the princess who had been living there sympathized with her. And she won a beauty pageant she wasn’t even trying to win twice!

Season three:
–Best- Infinite Realms (#42) – I like the idea behind this one: a chase through different periods of time. This execution wasn’t perfect, but it was better than a lot of Season 3 plots…

–Worst- Girls’ Night Out (#43) – Septuple character assassination. To clarify:

1) Kitty was never great to begin with, but giving her an evil ability based on women kissing men seems really one-dimensional.
2) Ember, who used to hate adults, is suddenly getting along with Spectra (who has her body back, by the way) apparently just because she’s a woman. In all of her past appearances, she worked with males (Kwan and Dash, Youngblood) with no problem.
3) Spectra suddenly hates her closest friend and is no longer psychologically themed at all. (She also led a show about cooking anti-man delicacies. Am I the only one who thinks something’s fishy about that?)
4) Speaking of that closest friend, Bertrand was pushed aside from being an intelligent, dangerous ally to being a flunkie who dropped out of the story early on.
5) Maddie was stopped from attacking Spectra by being drafted into her cooking show.
6) Instead of attacking Kitty, Sam actually went through the obstacle course, waited an unnecessarily long moment, then was carried away by “Helga”, thereby missing her opportunity.
7) Jazz managed to sneak her way into Ember’s backup singers. She had plenty of opportunity to attack Ember while she was singing. She even started to. Then she blew her cover by singing attrociously into the microphone. Wow.

Overall:
–Best- My Brother’s Keeper (#9)
–Worst- Tie between Beauty Marked (#34) and Girls’ Night Out (#43)

Characters:
–Best- Clockwork – I love a good mastermind.
–Worst- Kitty – What character?

Sam:

Season one:
–Best- My Brother’s Keeper (#9) – This one was great: Spectra was a lot better than most of Danny’s enemies (in that she had subtle methods and was able to use emotion against Danny), Bertrand could have been a villain by himself (interesting powers/emotion use), Danny had a reasonable problem, and Jazz really became important here.

–Worst- Life Lessons (#18) – I never really was thrilled with Valerie (not much interest in the way she turned out), and I hated Skulker’s voice change (face palm).

Season two:
–Best- Reality Trip (#37/38) – It was epic for three reasons:
1) Freakshow is one of Danny’s most unique enemies, the only human one, and the only one with any real good drama,
2) I love a good running away from home plot, and I think it was interesting to have Danny do, and
3) It was the last good event in the series, IMO.

–Worst- Micro-Management (#33) – I hate Dash. I feel that Skulker could have been put to better use. Sam’s physical fitness seems to have come the fuck out of nowhere. Smells of Positive Discrimination, to me at least.

Season three:
–Best- Claws of the Wild (#50) – The only good one. Walker appeared again, and that’s good. I would call it average, to be perfectly honest.

–Worst- Phantom Planet (#52/53) – Nice finale. ‘Nuff said.

Overall:
–Best- My Brother’s Keeper (#9)
–Worst- Micro-Management (#33)

Characters:
–Best- Jazz – She had development, a fairly good role, and I’m a Sucker for a story that features psychology & psychological problems in a good way; she furthers that kind of story.

–Worst- Dash – He was a Boring, flat character. Dash also seemed to win more often then lose, and I feel bullies need to have the crap beaten out of them.

Disclaimer: I’m a deadpan snarker, so I don’t mean all of my insults, never on this site. This is the only time I will ever put this on any of my posts. Wow, I can’t believe I said that.

Alright, jerks. You wanted more, you got it. I worked my magic. So I came up with a great Evil Plan, distort and change characters that we like, and warp them into another form. Sounds simple right? WRONG! Well OK yeah, it is. But it takes actual thoughts for it to work. And it’s full of win.

In other news, I said to just make shit up. It doesn’t need to be the same world, same powers, same friends, whatever. It could be something completely original, a brand new overcomplicated history that ruins the canon, or just a few tweaks to make them better. They’re not per se our idealized versions of these characters (except maybe for Kyle’s version of Katara); they’re just a shot at something new. The text was just grabbed at random from a chat, spell checked, and not improved. So you get what you get, Feel free to ask for more. Oh, you don’t want more? Well then, Screw This I’m Outta Here

…

I got bored, so I came back.

In other news, we also didn’t bother coming up with a comprehensive list of the differences between the original character and the alternate character. It helps to know what the original character is like and at least a portion of their series (even we made a few of these using series we weren’t that familiar with). And… holy shit, who the hell writes this crap?* Oh right, back to my job.  If you can enjoy the concept of the character as it’s written, that works just fine.

In other news. I’m sure there’s a 92.27% chance that at least one of these characters will look sickeningly similar to other versions of the character. If that happens, I didn’t plan it. All of this was created by Kyle and I. I didn’t copy your little versions of them, either, but feel free to use mine. Just check the copyright crap, that’s Kyle’s territory.

Lastly, I’m going to put notes after characters that need them, but not otherwise.

I also really hope that you like them, ’cause it makes it all worth… really, who writes this crap!?
Sam

*Kyle wrote a rough draft of this in my voice. I changed everything, except I DID NOT TOUCH! The one paragraph except to add that little comment.

———————–
Character: Two-Face
Series: Batman
Writer: Sam
Description:
Harvey Kent, a hard working family man, couldn’t make enough money as a lawyer to pay for his large family. In his spare time, he fought as an illegal fighter, and never once lost a fight. After a run in with Rupert Thorne, the man who owned the ring, Harvey had his face scarred in an electrical accident, and took on the identity of Two-Face. He now runs a massive league of illegal fighters, and is Batman’s equal in a fight, even when Batman has his gear on hand.

Notes: In the first comics, his name was Harvey Kent, so screw you.

Character: Danny Phantom
Series: Danny Phantom
Writer: Kyle
Description:
A boy with a ghost form and a split personality to match. While the two sides are generally in agreement, sometimes one must rise above the other. On rare occasions, Danny’s two sides are separated from each other; which body is possessed by which personality (and has which powers) seems to be entirely up to chance.

Character: Prince Zuko
Series: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Writer: Sam
Description:
After failing in the political style of his country, Prince Zuko left the Fire Nation to search for the Avatar. After searching for 7 years, he found nothing. Then, at age 20, he joined the military, starting as a private, like everyone else. After 15 more years, he is a war hero, and the strongest man in the world (with only his sister and Admiral Zhao having a chance at matching him in Fire Bending), the Avatar returned. Now, Zuko hunts him across the world, leading a legion of 6,000 trained men to bring the Avatar in, no mater what the cost.

Note: Zuko+20 years of training+6,000 elite soldiers=Win.

Character: Katara
Series: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Writer: Kyle
Description:
After witnessing her mother’s murder as a child she has vowed to increase in power however she can to avoid losing control of anything she loves again. As a teenager, she has attained some degree of mastery of her bending art, but she still clearly has much to learn. While generally respectful of her brother’s decisions, her desire to become stronger sometimes leads her to make rash decisions, which may endanger herself or her friends. Having learned from Sokka and Hakoda over the years, she can pose as a makeshift leader or tactician, though she’s clearly no substitute for the real thing.

Character: Joey Wheeler
Series: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Writer: Sam
Description:
Although just a normal boy in school, and not a good student, Joey found he had some skill at the game Duel Monsters when he won a local tournament, and $100. Since then, Joey has entered many of them, and won lots of money to spend on his family. Joey went mostly undefeated, until at age 18, he lost his first tournament to 16 year old, Seto Kaiba. A year later, Joey barely forced a draw in another tournament, this time against 14 year old Yugi Moto. Joey has a fiery rivalry with the two of them over who the best duelist in the world is.

Character: Scarecrow
Series: Batman
Writer: Kyle
Description:
Formerly a brilliant scientist, Jonathan Crane specialized in fear–particularly fear inducing and inhibiting chemicals. Perhaps the result of an experiment gone wrong, Dr. Crane has since gone mad, donning the persona of the Scarecrow. While he seems calm at first, he quickly becomes unhinged as he attempts to strike fear into innocents (or his foes, should anyone intervene). He seems immune to fear himself, as he ekes out only a raspy laugh when one would think he should be afraid.

Character: Wario
Series: Super Mario Bros.
Writer: Sam
Description:
Wario was once a noble knight in the Mushroom Kingdom army, a hero for his men, but not a famous soldier. Then, he was captured by Bowser, who attempted to twist him to his side. Wario refused, and was tortured as the result. He was saved by his old friend, Toadsworth. Wario returned home, to his wife, who was horrified at the sight of his disfigured face. As was everyone. Wario got on a ship and left, joining up with pirates in that time. Although honorable, he found he had no choice for survival than to work with them. After the ship returned to dock, he found the Mushroom Kingdom had been taken over by robots (Mario RPG). He tried to save the Kingdom, but was overcome by the attackers. After being imprisoned, his mind snapped, and he remembered the pirates. He felt their greed overcome him, and followed their example. Ever sense then, Wario has been all about wealth, and is no longer at all noble or kind, but a gross, cruel, and heartless thief.

Character: Naruto
Series: Naruto
Writer: Kyle
Description:
A young boy training to become a ninja and unknowingly possessed by an ancient demon. At least that’s what the village leaders think–Naruto knows all too well what he is. He inherited a large amount of (book) knowledge from the demon, and daily struggles against it to maintain control. He occasionally allows the demon to control his actions in exchange for its power, but after the death of his father he is loathe to resort to this option. (He is also very protective of his mother because of this.) While he wishes to be a great hero someday, he fears he is doomed to be a destroyer. But he doesn’t think about that much–might as well enjoy the time you’ve got, right?

Character: Isaac Faust
Series: Golden Sun
Writer: Sam
Description:
A young boy with psychic powers from the town of Vale. After the power of Alchemy was threatened, he was forced to go on a journey to protect it. Isaac resented his job, until he got the plan to use it to his own ends. His companion, Garet, eventually figured out his plan, and faced him in combat about it. An epic battle ensued, in which Garet only won because of his higher weight. Isaac survived, and returned when the last of Alchemy’s four light houses was activated, and he tried to steal the power for himself, but was stopped by Ivan and Alex (as the others at the location battle among themselves.)

Character: Duck Dodgers
Series: Duck Dodgers
Writer: Kyle
Description:
A genius, pure and simple. Centuries ago, he discovered that there was life on Mars, equally unaware of life on Earth. A brief study revealed that the two races could never live peacefully side by side. A rough calculation predicted that a war would start 500 years later, so he cryogenically froze himself, leaving a droid to strategically place him underground where he would be discovered at roughly that point in the future. His skill would then lead him to become a high-ranking official in the war. Even in this position, however, he could not make peace–one side would simply abuse this trust to infiltrate the other. Sad a fate as it is, he must keep the war going and as evenly matched as possible. The way to do it? Obfuscating stupidity (along with the occasional moment of critical memory failure). So far, no one suspects a thing.

Notes: I fuckin’ love this one.

Character: Soren
Series: Fire Emblem (9 & 10)
Writer: Sam
Description:
A young fencer of some skill, Soren grew up in a home he hated, with a woman who couldn’t stand him. She gave him to an old traveling merchant at age 9, who disliked the boy, but trained in him fencing, and merchantry. At age 13, Soren left him, and was hired by the Greil Mercenaries. After working with them for 2 years, Soren left. He then met another Fencer, named Ranulf, who bested Soren in skill by far. He was impressed with Soren, and asked to take him on as he apprentice. Soren chose not to go with him, but back to the Griel mercenaries, who hired both Soren and Ranulf. At age 16 now, Soren is currently being trained by Ranulf to become a master fencer, while seeking to open the boy up to the world, and be less hateful of everything, including himself.

Character: Link
Series: The Legend Of Zelda
Writer: Kyle
Description:
As a boy, Link learned that his destiny was to be a hero and save the world. But he wanted no part of it. Trying to escape his destiny, he ran away and tried to take up residence in other locations. Each new place he came to, he lived in for a short while. Destruction was not far behind him, it seemed though, and he would help to protect his new home, and then leave quietly still hoping to escape his destiny. Ironically, his running eventually made him into the hero he was hoping he wouldn’t have to be.

If you download it now, some of your add-ons might not be compatible with the new version (especially true for themes). It’s still not a bad idea to upgrade to it; most add-ons become compatible with new versions before too much time passes. If your favorite theme isn’t available, you can always take the opportunity to change it up a bit.

Okay, imagine this: you’re writing a new fictional series about a super hero. He’s a secret identity hero, and he has non-superpowered friends. You haven’t fleshed out his enemies just yet, but you have some ideas that you can theme their powers around. It looks like you have everything you need to start writing. Right?

I have two questions for you before you begin.
1) Do you realize what you’re about to do?
2) Are you sure you want to do that?

What’s more epic to watch, a small-scale fight between the detective hero and a handful of thugs, or a massive-scale cosmic blowout between Superman and an army of super robots? At first glance, you would think it’s the super fight, wouldn’t you? But ask yourself this: how well can you figure things out as the heroes get more and more powerful? Does it make sense when Superboy Prime (an evil, stronger, alternate universe Superman) throws a punch that alters reality in convenient bizarre ways? Or why Amazo (Justice League Unlimited) did not simply will his adversaries out of his way? Or how about anything involving time travel?

It might not be obvious at first, but the higher up the power scale the characters go, the more distant from the common folk (and therefore, the viewers) it gets. To keep an audience who can understand your work, you need to be as consistent with yourself as possible (but that’s a topic for another day). When standard (heroic) characters reach the point that they can break the planet by thinking about doing so, it becomes difficult even to imagine new abilities that fit the power scale, let alone keep them consistent any more. There are a few solutions to this, but they’re not very pretty. You ready?

1) Make it up as you go along—Screw Consistency, I Have Imagination!
2) Give all the villains the same powers. Since it’s hard to tell what powers are balanced with the hero’s, why not use his?

And for reference, here’s a non-exhaustive list of villains who have a near carbon-copy of Superman’s powers:
- Bizzaro (“reversed” powers – i.e. freeze vision, heat breath)
- Black Zero (2nd incarnation)
- Darkseid (basics are the same)
- Doomsday (essentially a physical god)
- General Zod
- Imperiex (had the “power of the big bang”)
- Metallo (another physical god, but with a kryptonite core!)
- Mongul (stronger than Silver Age Superman)
- Mr. Mxyzptlk (essentially omnipotent, from the “5th dimension”)
- Superboy Prime (oh, and kryptonite doesn’t hurt him)
- Ultra Man

This isn’t necessarily saying Superman is bad—just that more power doesn’t always mean more coolness. But of course, in the above example, you wouldn’t let your character become that powerful. Superman is one thing, but why go that high? You can be perfectly content with a superhero who’s bound by the atmosphere and the sound barrier just like the rest of us. He’s just way more powerful.

Well, you’re closer, but there are some pitfalls you still need to avoid. To elaborate better, let me show you some advantages of the low-powered hero.

Fans of Danny Phantom: do you like Bullet?  You know, Bullet? He only had one appearance, but it was in a big episode.

Officer: “You’re using the collar? Walker said—”
Bullet: “Walker isn’t here!”

Yeah, that guy. What did you think of him? What about the officer who spoke to him in that quote? Or that rabid one who overshadowed Paulina? There isn’t much information given about these characters… but they’re there.

He's... terrifying!

In particular, look at the last one. There are moments in which the way he moves is so creepy, you have to wonder if he’s thinking rationally or acting on instinct alone. He consistently (and mercilessly) pursued Danny in combat, keeping the pressure high. For the viewer, he makes combat more exciting and adds to Walker’s awesomeness just by the fact that Walker sucessfully commands him!

Scared? No? Look what he did to Harvey!

…For those who have no idea what series I was talking about, the Continuity Lock Out ends here. We’re looking at a concept of an underling who is well-defined and noticable (though you may need to watch their appearance(s) more than once to really get them down). For easy reference, let’s call him the Major Minion. Another good example of this is Frankie from Batman (appears in Two-Face and Second Chance). Frankie is the leader of a group of hired thugs working for the local crime boss, Rupert Thorne. He’s stronger than he looks and smarter than he sounds. He’s an expert on firearms—everything from a machine gun to a rocket launcher. But he’s not “just another thug”; in Second Chance he spoke briefly about the importance of being kind to Mother Nature. He wasn’t being sarcastic either.

This is all very interesting, but what does it have to do with a low-powered hero? These kinds of characters will naturally appear when the hero fights small groups of minions. If the hero is fighting five tough guys who keep getting back up when they’re knocked down, you can start to recognize them and gauge how tough they are. Some of them may even be developed into important figures—as long as they aren’t made complete jokes out of, they tend to be awesome. If the hero is fighting 100 identical-looking minions in groups of five or so, taking them down with one hit each (or several with each hit), they become as meaningless—both to the fight and as proof of the hero’s strength—as Cardboard Obstacles. An important character will almost never rise out of this crowd.

It is possible to effectively mix the two types of minion groups. The “hard-core five” should probably have starring roles in this case. Also, if fighting just a handful of minions is normal, then when more of them do finally show up, it makes the appearance that much more effective.

These guys? Yeah. They're dead.

Count how many elite-trained soldiers were taken down in this sequence. I dare you.

Five guys, five attacks. It's that simple, right?

Oh... um...

... nevermind...

Hold on... If five were hard...

So, your hero has his powers and villains who can roughly match or challenge him. What can his friends do?

He's complaining about not having superpowers. Seriously.

All too often, it seems, when there are heroes with superpowers in the world, their non-powered friends quickly fall by the wayside, finding themselves unable to do anything more than shout, “Look out, Captain Obvious!” when a projectile (that seems to be moving slowly…) is coming the hero’s way. Even if they start out having some kind of ability that is helpful, it may not be long before the power scale increases enough that their ability becomes useless. Alternatively, they may be “helping” in the fight, even though they’re not doing anything the hero couldn’t have done if they weren’t there. This false helpfulness doesn’t really add anything to the situation. The police force (or even the army) is in the same boat. And if the hero is so strong that they’re above and beyond the police force, who are they relating to anymore?

It’s not intrinsically hard to avoid this—make sure the hero’s friends and the armed forces have useful abilities. A successful example is Richie Foley from Static Shock. Starting out, Static is smart, and so is Richie. While Static is hard at work on the battlefield, Richie is inventing devices and researching information online. As time went on, though, one of the show’s creators, Dwayne McDuffie, admitted in an interview that it was getting harder to work him into the story. To make up for it, they took his intelligence and inventiveness to a new level, making it a superpower. Since he could get right out on the front lines himself, there was no reason to leave him behind anymore. What’s nice about this example is that fans loved the change. Also nice is the fact that they offered a plausible explanation for the change, but left it something of a mystery.

While a low-powered hero is easier to follow along with and can relate more closely to a common person, a well-done combat with high-powered characters can be spectacular to watch. Because Sam, my partner in crime, is more of an expert on this topic than I am, he’ll walk us through this section.

High power can do some things that are fail with low power. In Dragon Ball Z, the monster named Cell was more powerful than anyone. He just beat the main hero, Goku. He then created miniature monsters, called Cell Jr.s, and had them defeat all of Goku’s friends. Goku’s son, Gohan, who thus far could do nothing to help his friends, and just failed to beat Cell, then had his full power unlocked by getting fearfully hateful of Cell. He destroyed all of the Cell Jr.s. Gohan’s allies where massively shocked, and I mean it. Cell was impressed. He then went on to use his full power, enough to (literally) make the planet shake. Although Gohan had just increased in power to a level that stunned everyone, Gohan’s allies didn’t think that Gohan could beat Cell. It looked bad. Cell attacked Gohan, and was utterly shocked when he couldn’t touch—not hurt, but touch—him. Cell was then furious that he took so much damage from two of Gohan’s counter punches.

"That can't happen!"

In low power, this doesn’t work. Physically peak-human gangster, Two-Face, and his two henchmen face off with Marty Stu. Two-Face sends his boys at Marty, and they lose horribly. He fights Marty, and is shocked that he can’t hurt him. That doesn’t work for two (heh, two) reasons: 1) Why would Two-Face have men that can be beaten with such ease? He will be stronger than them, so he can control them, but still, it makes no sense to have useless men with him. Logically, he’d be very impressed to have his guys owned, and not so much stronger that he thinks he could do something better. 2) In low power, you don’t just go to your full power. It doesn’t work like that, 99.9% of the time (Bane is the .1%). So if Two-Face and Marty fight, it has the real results of the fight. If Two-Face lost, he can’t be later shocked; if he won, then he can’t be later shocked.

Also, high power can have really, really epic fights that low power just can’t match. Take a look at this fight between Tien (bad guy student to later turn good) and Master Roshi (epic martial arts master, his last ever battle).

I instruct you to watch for these epic parts:

1:30; Cool after image attack, high power only.
1:50; Visible power up, low power need not apply.
3:15; Double beatdown. In low power, this never happens, someone gets knocked away.
4:20; Awesome energy struggle, high power exclusive.

[Note: The times listed above may not be quite exact.]

A fight like that doesn’t happen in low power. They use techniques that only work in high power, and have a really close, fast-paced, yet drawn-out fight. I think it’s the best in DBZ. By far. Look at the blows landed, the movement in the battle. The clear power up. This is for high power only. It is made of total win.

You can still be important once your power has become lower-tier, by the way. Look at Tien, he helps later when he’s anywhere from 10% to .00001% (depends on who you ask) the power of the main characters. He stops the villain, Cell, when he’s still become super powerful, buying the heroes needed time. He later deflects a blast from a much more powerful villain, Super Buu, saving Gohan, and other useful characters, without whom, they couldn’t have beaten the final villain. Buu complements him (e.g. “He was pretty strong. A legendary warrior even!”) for this. Tien is the best example from the show of someone staying useful, even after they fall way behind in terms of power.

Simply put, high power can do things low power can’t do, and still keep bit characters helpful. Now how much will you pay?

High-powered characters and low-powered characters are not mutually exclusive, but mixing genres can be tricky business. In his original show, Batman was clearly human, vulnerable to light and heavy blows and susceptible to being surprised. When Justice League came around, he was scaled up so that he could work with heroes as powerful as Superman, which meant no more crippling blows and no more surprises. The following video serves a two-fold purpose: 1) what happens when a high-powered character fights a low-powered character, and 2) proof of concept—that is, low-powered and no-powered characters can meaningfully aid a battle with high-powered characters in it.

In the red corner:
Superman (disguised as Batman)
Robin (well-trained, but small)

In the blue corner:
Bane (his strength could be argued as a superpower)
Riddler (no special combat ability, but extremely intelligent)
Mad Hatter (has mind control technology, but plays no real role in this fight)

(For the record, I don’t like the way Riddler and Hatter look in the new animation style compared to their original portrayals.)

So, here’s the take-away from all this—high-powered fights are spectacular to watch, but low-powered characters are easier for the audience to connect with. It seems to be a good idea to write to the highest level of power that 1) you’re capable of writing comfortably, and 2) you’re willing to write. The latter is probably the bigger factor here. When in doubt, don’t be afraid to start with low power and work your way up (but don’t forget the little guy!). Even as the scale of power rises, resist the urge to have the hero take down a thousand normal people effortlessly.

Let me guess—the hinges were rusty.

Oh, and remember the example I told you to imagine at the beginning? It’s pretty close to Danny Phantom. His friends were the type to lend false helpfulness to combat. (Early on though, they kicked down a thick steel door, which was either a joke or a really bad attempt at adding action to the fight; 14-year old children lose to thick steel doors.) Bear this in mind as you create something new.

Note: This page can also be accessed at http://tinyurl.com/5m46l7

Which web browser are you using right now? Is it Microsoft’s Internet Explorer? What about Apple’s Safari? Maybe you’ve even got something different, like Netscape. But does it matter? Is there such a thing as one browser being better than another? More importantly, is there a browser in existence that’s better than the one you’re using? And would it cost anything if you wanted to switch? If you’re at all curious about this—especially if you didn’t know that switching browsers was an option—keep reading; this is gonna be good!

At the time this was written, Microsoft Internet Explorer had close to 75% of the overall market share among browsers. [1] The reason for this is simple: most people don’t care what browser they’re using, and they use whatever came included with their computer. (Sound like you? Keep reading!) Is that a smart way to do things? Maybe, maybe not. Right now, I’m using a browser that is free to download and use called Mozilla Firefox (often just called “Firefox”). Let me tell you what sort of things influenced my choice.

(This argument is mostly concerned with Internet Explorer and Safari vs. Firefox, but many of the points can be expanded to other browsers as well.)

Would you like to try Firefox for yourself? Download it now!

It’s made by good people

The company that created Firefox is called Mozilla. Mozilla is a non-profit organization dedicated to giving everyone they can the best web experience possible. They list their primary goal as “making the Internet better for everyone”. [2] Sounds like a good mission, but with only roughly 100 employees, how can they pull it off?

As it turns out, they’re not alone. Firefox follows a software policy called “open source”. What that means is that instead of keeping the code that makes the program work to themselves (the common practice, used by Internet Explorer and others), it’s open; anyone can access it and improve it. You can even use their code to make other products, if you want to. The only catch is that once something is open, it stays open; if you used Firefox’s code to create a new piece of software that made dish washers run more efficiently, that new software would have to be open source too. In this case, instead of selling the new software, you’d do better to form a contract with other companies to help them install it in their machines and help them stay up-to-date with it. (There’s more to open source than that, but that’s good enough for a quick explanation.)

So what’s all this mean to you and me? It means that in addition to Mozilla’s 100 or so employees, people all over the world can also contribute to making the browser better. There are many different add-ons that you can add to Firefox once you’ve downloaded it. The vast majority of these come from programmers who are not associated with Mozilla. And despite what today’s media will tell you, there are still plenty of good people everywhere you go. The end result? People all over the world are working to make Firefox the best browser it can be for everyone.

Q: “If this browser was as good as you say, wouldn’t I have heard about it by now?”

This is a perfectly valid question. Remember when I said Mozilla was a non-profit organization? They don’t have much of an advertising budget, which is why you’ve probably never seen a TV advertisement for their products. Instead, they rely on a community of people who tried and liked their browser to tell others. Anyone can tell the people they know to try it, but they also have a more organized system at SpreadFirefox.com. It’s sort of word-of-mouth to the power of three, or something like that. So to sum it up in one sentence, you’re hearing about it now.

Q: “So, if I download and use it, do I have to help too?”

Not at all; it’s completely up to you. You can help to any extent you’d like, or just take the browser and use it. I’ve told people how cool I think Firefox is and that I think they should try it, but I’ve never even so much as looked at the code, let alone try to create any add-ons (and I’m a programmer!).

Wouldn’t it be nice to have all those people working for you? Download it now!

It’s more secure

Let’s face it. While there are still good people out there, there are also people who want to steal your money, and they have a lot of clever ways to go about it. Of course not all the bad folks are just after your money; some of them would rather enslave your computer so they can use it to steal other people’s money. And even within this circle, some of them will just take over your computer and delete your stuff, which doesn’t earn anyone any money at all, but sure leaves you ticked off. (Most of the time, though, it’s just about the money.) So, as the bad guys are figuring out more and more clever ways to infiltrate your computer, often times without you noticing, should you be worried, and if so, how much?

Q: “What kinds of things can go wrong if security is poor?”

We’re all familiar with those spam e-mails that try to steal your information, right? The old “don’t click on a link if you don’t know who it’s from” thing. If your security is bad, someone might be using your computer to send these without you knowing about it. But more to the point, here are some news stories of what can happen when security isn’t doing its job (the first and last are probably the most relevant to the average user):

- July 2, 2008: Sony’s Playstation website was hacked. A message would pop up saying that many (fake) malware programs were on your computer trying to get you to buy—with your credit card—a full version of a fake anti-virus program to get rid of it.

- July 10, 2008: Dan Kaminsky (security expert) discovered an easy way for hackers to take you to web pages you didn’t ask to see (i.e. it doesn’t matter what link you click or what you type in the address bar; they decide where you go) and to intercept your e-mail. The issue has since been fixed (although it happened so slowly, it is uncertain whether or not all the DNS providers have updated as they should—if you’re at all worried, you can double check by going to www.doxpara.com and clicking “Check my DNS”. If this comes up unsafe, get a computer expert to help you get in contact with your DNS provider; mention the “Kaminsky bug” or “DNS bug” and they should know what you’re talking about).

- July 25, 2008: A virus on a NASA astronaut’s laptop went into space and infected the International Space Station. NASA brushed it off as a nuisance, but confirmed that this kind of thing has happened before.

- August 7, 2008: Someone accidentally purchased the “I Am Rich” iPhone app with no apparent way to get a refund. It’s a $1000 add-on that is nothing but a screensaver that reminds you and anyone you show it to that you were rich enough to buy the thing. (It has since been removed from Apple’s store.)

- August 8, 2008: 11 hackers were busted with over 40 million stolen credit and debit card numbers. Even if they didn’t use these themselves, they could have sold them off to others.

Microsoft’s convention when it comes security issues is to keep it quiet, come up with a solution, and release it the next time they do a big update. In other words, they like to release several fixes at the same time. This might not sound like too bad of an idea at first, but what happens if someone finds the issue before the fix gets out? Sometimes all they need to know is that there is an issue somewhere and they can find it.

In the case of Firefox, things work a little differently. If a security issue comes up, it’s made public right away. It’s a two-edged sword, if you will; the bad guys can immediately get to work on trying to exploit the issue, but the good guys can work just as quickly to fix it. (Since the bad guys can still use problems that haven’t been publicly disclosed, though, they don’t have that much of an advantage in this department unless it’s a really big issue.) The nicest thing about it, though, is that by its default setting, Firefox will perform security updates automatically in the background without you needing to care. (It won’t automatically notify you when a totally new version is available—for instance, Firefox 3.0 is out now while some people use Firefox 2.0—but there are lots of sites—including this one—that will notify you.) Because of these automatic updates, almost all Firefox users have the most up-to-date version of Firefox. Conversely, more than half of all Internet Explorer users don’t have the most up-to-date version!

[Update--9/12/08: I was mistaken. Firefox does indeed notify you once a new version (such as 2.0 to 3.0) has been released.]

An interesting argument on paper, but does all this really mean anything in practice? Well…

In 2006, there was a known vulnerability in Internet Explorer—the kind of things bad guys could take advantage of. It took 284 days for a fix to be released. That’s just over nine months. And if you can believe it, there are a lot of folks who don’t install these kinds of fixes on their own—but why would they? They didn’t get any notification about the issue; they didn’t get any notification about the fix; how can they be expected to stay secure on their own like that?

The closest known comparison Firefox has to this is a nine day period when a vulnerability went unfixed. And as mentioned, Firefox downloads and installs these fixes automatically. [3][4]

If you like the idea that you can explore the sites you like and not have to worry about what kind of security risks are going on, you definitely want to start using Firefox; it comes much closer to this than Internet Explorer does.

Q: “Wait a second. I’ve been using Internet Explorer for weeks/months/years, and nothing like that has happened to me.”

You, my friend, are both lucky and intelligent. You probably know what kind of websites you’re supposed to avoid, and you don’t click those suspicious links in e-mails from people you’ve never heard of. Aside from the update rate described above, what’s the difference? Well, let’s say some evil-doer hacks your favorite website so that it will install a virus on any computer that accesses it (a real-world scenario, unfortunately). Your website can probably get this issue taken care of, but what do you do in the mean time? (First off, if you don’t have an anti-virus software going, you might want to get one; ask someone who knows their stuff for help with this.)

A future version of Internet Explorer is going to keep track of which websites are reported to be dangerous, and if you try to access one (by accident or otherwise), it will flash up a big red screen that says “dangerous website” to keep you from accidentally getting infected. It does the same for those fake websites that pretend to be big companies like eBay and ask for your social security number. (As far as I’ve heard, Safari doesn’t have this feature, and there are no plans to add it in the near future.)

Guess where that idea came from.

That’s right; the latest version of Firefox already has this form of protection included, making it much more difficult to fall into these kinds of traps. Not only that, but on secure web pages that ask for passwords, a single click on the icon to the left of the address bar can tell you if the website appears to be legitimate. (For those wondering, a secure website will start with “https” instead of “http”; “s” is for secure, I believe.) The associated picture with it is a security guard checking a passport—an excellent analogy for what’s going on.

Security is one of the biggest things that Mozilla is dedicated to including in their products, and by the look of things, they’re doing an excellent job with it.

Notice the security info by the address bar. This site is safe!

This one was enough to convince me. Download Firefox now.

It’s more efficient

This is one where Apple Safari really takes a blow. Have you ever been browsing for a long time, only to find that your browser has slowed significantly since you began? This issue has to do with how much memory your browser is using. (Just to clarify, I don’t mean the same kind of memory you use to save your files; this kind is connected with the speed your computer operates at.)

An individual study comparing several browsers showed that while Safari seemed to consume more and more memory as time went on, Firefox was almost a flat line on the graph in terms of how much it used over time. [5] It’s fair to say that this isn’t a scientific study in the strictest sense of the word. A good analogy is comparing the mileage of two cars by testing them in everyday driving (with all of its stop signs, traffic lights, and unexpected drivers) as opposed to on a treadmill (as seen in the gasoline commercials). (If anyone is interested in refining it to a more scientific study, check the website; all the code you’d need is there.)

Using less memory means that it won’t slow down over time, and it won’t slow down any other programs you have opened.

One point worth mentioning is that some folks have said Firefox is slower to start up than other browsers. Maybe that’s true; I’ve been using it for so long I haven’t really noticed the difference. Of course, it wouldn’t be an Earth-shattering slowdown. What’s one second to open compared to three seconds to open if you plan on using the internet for a few hours? Or even one hour? Or half an hour? Or five minutes? Even if you only want to use the internet for one minute, this difference in time is negligible! Despite what some programmers might tell you about how “every millisecond counts”, that’s really more for accessing databases across the internet rather than anything you or I might care about at home or in the workplace.

Since we’re talking about startup speed, let me throw one more point out there. Some applications will ask you to restart them once they’ve installed updates. This isn’t as bad as restarting your computer, but it can take a few minutes, depending on what program we’re talking about. Firefox has made this kind of thing completely painless. If the “Restart Firefox Now” button shows up and you click it, it closes, opens, and puts you right back where you were usually in under a minute. The only drawback is that you might need to log back into some pages you were viewing if they required a password, but if typing a login name and password is what you call a difficult task, you probably (hopefully) don’t have any accounts online that require this anyway.

Have you been convinced yet? Why not try it out?

Some easy-to-use features

These aren’t things that you’d be forced to use if you switch to Firefox, but if you’re willing to try them, they can be very handy!

First up is the “awesome bar”. It’s really just the address bar at the top of the screen, but what it does is watch what you type and suggests the pages it thinks you’re looking for. It takes a few days worth of “training” for it to really get smart to what you like, but if it does, it’s pretty cool to use. If you prefer to go to Google and search for the page you want, there’s a search bar at the top as well. And of course, if you don’t like the awesome bar, you can always turn it off, and turn it back on later.

Next is the new one-click bookmarking system. On the right side of the address bar you’ll find a star icon (or something else appropriate, depending on the theme you use). Click it once, and the page you’re on is added to “Unsorted Bookmarks”, making it easy to find again using the awesome bar. This is also good if you’re quickly searching through a bunch of pages and want to grab your favorites, because you can always sort them out later. Click the star again, and you’ll be asked where to save the bookmark. There are some other bookmarking features that have been added in, but this much is enough for me. Feel free to explore the other features as you like. (Of course, the traditional method of adding bookmarks is still available.)

Finally, my personal favorite feature is tabbed browsing. This is a substitute for opening several windows to view more than one page. It took me some time before I actually wanted to try it, but now I think it’s very useful! To open a link in a new tab, hold “Ctrl” (bottom corner of your keyboard) when you click on it. (On the Mac, I think there’s a different key you press instead of “Ctrl”, but I’m not sure which one because it didn’t show up correctly on my screen with either browser.) You can also open a blank tab by holding “Ctrl” and pressing “t”.

Internet Explorer has a feature similar to this, but if you’ve ever had more than one page open at once, you’ve probably accidentally closed one before you meant to, or quickly realized you still wanted it open. This is no longer a problem. Holding “Ctrl” and “Shift” (just above “Ctrl”) and then pressing “t” opens the last tab you closed. Last, but not least, if you close the window with multiple tabs open, Firefox will ask if you want to save them and then open them all back up the next time you open the browser. Mozilla has a tutorial on their website with more info on tabbed browsing (among other things) if you’d like to learn more. [6]

If it’s starting to sound like fun, that’s because it really is! Try it!

You can still use Internet Explorer… within Firefox!

Different browsers sometimes represent different pages… differently. If a page was written for Internet Explorer, it might not show up right in Firefox. Anyone who’s switched browsers before has probably noticed this kind of thing (and I’ll bet you think it’s annoying to open the other browser and copy the page address, don’t you?).

There’s an add-on to Firefox called IE Tab, which let’s you switch whether the page is read by Firefox or Internet Explorer with a single click of a button. [7] Don’t let the name scare you; it might have been designed for tabbed browsing, but in no way is it limited to it! If a page seems to be written entirely for Internet Explorer, you can add it to a list of pages that should always be represented by it; when you go to that page, it will be read by Internet Explorer; when you navigate away, Firefox will take back over. The downside to this is that it’s for Windows only, because you need Windows to run Internet Explorer. Sorry to any Mac or Linux users out there.

I know I haven’t really touched on what “themes” are yet, but it’s worth noting that there exists one that makes Firefox look like Internet Explorer 7! [8]

It looks like Internet Explorer with added features!

Mozilla has a support page ready for Internet Explorer users. [9]

And just so no one feels left out in the rain, you can also make it look like Safari, iTunes, or even Netscape.

You must be wanting it by now. Download Firefox now.

Easily customizable

Mozilla doesn’t believe in a “one size fits all” policy with their browser. Up to this point, I’ve mentioned Firefox “add-ons” several times. So, what are they, exactly? Add-ons are anything that can be downloaded and added to your web browser, and almost all of them are made by that community of people outside of Mozilla. They can be for form or function. There are essentially no rules or limits on what add-ons can be developed save for the time people are willing to put into them. Add-ons encompass everything from blocking advertisements, to alerting you to new Gmail messages, to telling you what country the web page you’re viewing is in (along with its location and background info), to playing your music for you! The browser is not just for surfing the web anymore!

The other kind of add-on that I’ve already alluded to is themes. A theme changes the look (and sometimes the layout) of your browser. There are plenty to choose from, and you’re welcome to search on your own, but I have several recommendations to get you started. [Shown on a different page that will be constructed] You can find everything from the basic, to the cool, to the Internet Explorer or iTunes look-alike, to the simple and efficient, to based on Christian symbols, to cats! There’s a “cats” theme out there!

You can use as many or as few add-ons as you like. Keep it simple, or make it look like no other browser in the world. If you’re looking for some, you can check ones that are officially recommended [10] or popular [11], or you can search the entire add-ons page yourself [12]. (I will also be writing a list of add-ons I recommend soon.) If you ever decide you don’t want an add-on anymore, getting rid of it is as simple as clicking on the “Tools” menu, choosing “Add-ons”, finding the one you’re done with, and choosing “Disable” or “Uninstall”. This is also where you can select between themes you have downloaded.

You can’t not be wanting it by now.

Now it’s portable!

This might be more interesting to slightly more advanced users, but anyone who’s interested should take a look! There’s an edition of Firefox that you don’t install on your computer, but on your flash drive. [13] This means you can take your preferences with you and use them on any computer Firefox is compatible with (that’s a lot), whether it’s actually installed on that computer or not. If you like this idea, just be sure to read some of the instructions offered on the page, such as improving the performance of the device [14] (flash drives can only be rewritten a limited number of times; while it’s more times than most of us need to worry about, there’s no need for Firefox to be making unnecessary rewrites if no one is using them). I have this set up on my iPod, and I also have an add-on that keeps its bookmarks in sync with my other computers. It’s like I’m using a computer at home no matter which one I plug it into. The only downside is that the browser doesn’t update automatically this way (but if you’re using it at home, you’ll notice when there’s a new update available).

Q: “If I decide to set this up on my iPod (or any other MP3 player that can be used for flash memory), can I still use it for music at the same time?”

In my case, no. This might be different from model to model, or it might be the same; all I can say is try it and see. If listening to your music is that essential, a logical option is to simply buy a USB drive specifically designated for this purpose. You can get a brand new 1 GB drive on Amazon.com for about $15 (shipping included), which is plenty of room to hold the browser, your preferred add-ons, and some extra room for other files.

[Update--9/29/08: If you go this route, don't make the same mistake I made. When updating, the file you download from portableapps.com is the installer, not the browser itself. Download it to your desktop and launch it from there to install Firefox on your flash drive; don't download it onto your flash drive and overwrite your browser. I didn't lose any data or anything, but it sure was confusing.]

If you haven’t gotten it yet, I’m going to assume you either have it already, or are waiting for the bottom of the page.

Firefox is cool!

Given what it is, there are many ways that Firefox could have seriously been messed up in its development. Developers could have easily gotten bogged down on minute features that wouldn’t be helpful to anyone. The fact that anyone can make changes to the code could have meant that so many different, incompatible versions were made that no one could help anyone else with it. Since it’s 100% free to download, the company could have lost interest in the project if they couldn’t get funding. Revealing a security flaw to the public could have resulted in catastrophe anywhere along the line if the developers couldn’t fix it quickly enough, which would have scarred it for life in the public’s eye.

In other open source projects, even the name has been something that would turn most people off. For instance, one of the first open source projects happened when UNIX was a big vendor of computers. Another group rivaled them with what they called GNU. It was an acronym for “GNU’s Not Unix”. It happened again with a programming language called PHP. It stands for “PHP: Hypertext Processor”. You’d have to be a geek just to remember that! Mozilla was originally going to call their browser Phoenix or Firebird, but Firebird was already taken, so they needed to change it eventually. They made a good choice; their logo looks very cool now. And as much as we might like to see them sing and dance or run middle schools in cartoons on TV, I’m pretty sure the name “Firefrog” wouldn’t have caught on so well with the public.

So many things could have gone wrong. None did.

If that’s not a sign of competence on the developers’ part, I don’t know what is.

Despite the fact that Mozilla has no real advertising budget, it’s the second most popular browser in use. Many of the folks who have tried it love it. They’re willing to tell everyone they know about it. Some of them hand out flyers about it. Some will tote the logo on a hat or shirt (available at Mozilla’s store, for those interested [15]). Many folks place download buttons on their websites. Apparently, somebody left a crop circle of the Firefox logo that can be seen from Google Earth [16]. And someone was crazy enough to write a detailed argument on why they thought Firefox was currently the world’s best web browser and that everyone should be using it (what a nutcase, huh?). [17]

There was even an event when Firefox 3.0 was first released to get it downloaded as many times as possible in the first 24 hours of its release, and have the results set as a Guinness World Record. It was a success. The record, which previously didn’t exist, now stands at 8,002,530 downloads. [18]

Remember when I said Internet Explorer had 75% of the market share? Firefox has second place with about 18%. It just doesn’t seem right. Mozilla’s product just seems to be… better. Imagine for a second what things might be like if Firefox was the leading browser.

- Since it’s free, new computers and those hand-held devices people seem to love so much would come with it pre-installed, allowing more customizability (not to mention security) on all of them.

- Web pages that were written specifically for Internet Explorer—which, believe it or not, actually breaks an official W3C standard when reading web pages [19][20]—would be written for Firefox instead, making them compatible with other browsers much more seamlessly.

- Because people could count on Firefox being found almost anywhere, new add-ons could be created to take advantage of the fact by bringing up personal preferences, files, or what have you from any computer in the world.

- Browser-based computer attacks on businesses would be much less frequent, because by default Firefox updates itself to resist the latest threats, as opposed to the norm, where an attack that has been known about (and even had a fix released) for months takes over the company’s network.

This may be a somewhat utopian picture of the future, but does it really seem that farfetched?

When I started to figure out just how nice Firefox was, I couldn’t help but wonder why people are still using Internet Explorer. If you feel the same way, be sure to check out SpreadFirefox.com when you have time.

Q: “I’m afraid to try it, because I don’t want to mess anything up on my computer.”

I plan on writing a step-by-step walkthrough to install it, but the setup process is pretty simple, so feel free to try it.

Q: “Can I use it in the workplace?”

Absolutely. I know I do. You can even use different settings and add-ons more suited to where you work than you would use at home, if you’d like.

Q: “It’s not my computer!”

If it belongs to one person (that is, a friend’s computer), check with them whether or not they’re using it already and if they’ve seen this article or not. If it’s more like a computer lab, talk to whoever’s in charge of it. Most of them are tech-savvy enough to know why it’s a good idea to use Firefox, but you never know what you might find out!

Q: “You’ve done fine bashing other browsers, but are there really none that stand up to this one?”

The closest competitor is the browser Opera (made by a company called Opera). It has a lot of the features discussed here, and it’s free to use, but it’s not “open” (i.e. Opera [the browser] can only be improved by Opera [the company]), and it’s not as popular as Firefox, so the growth potential is a little lower.

Q: “These are just opinions.”

Well, I certainly can’t argue with that. I’ve heard that while everyone is entitled to their own opinion, each opinion is only as valid as the facts that it’s based on, so I hope my references are convincing enough. If someone was, indeed, able to surpass Firefox with a better web browser, I’d be willing to switch and change my opinion. If Opera said they came out with a new browser that had impenetrable security (and could prove it), I’d be willing to switch to that. If Apple said the same thing about Safari, but that it now also used almost no memory, I might switch to that. Simply put, I’m not blindly loyal to Firefox; there are adequate reasons as to why I like it so much.

Q: “I really don’t want to switch.”

I can’t make you. Everything I’ve laid down here is just an argument as to why I think you should switch. If you really like the browser you’re using that much, I can’t stop you from using it (well, someone probably can, but I wouldn’t know how). If, however, the only thing keeping you from switching is “I know how to use this browser, and I don’t think I’d like the look of a new one”, remember that you can customize Firefox to look and behave the way you want it to. Again, though, the final decision is yours.

Q: “I’m not convinced.”

If you want a little more convincing before you switch, take a look at Mozilla’s website. [21] A list of awards the browser has won doesn’t hurt, either. [22] If you still need more information, try using Google to search for it and see what people are saying about it (and why; don’t forget to check their logic!).

It’s free. It’s secure. It’s sensible. It’s easy to customize. It’s fun to use. Millions of good people are working to make it better for folks like you. It’s not losing any momentum in its production. It may well be the best web browser the world currently has to offer. There are no strings attached. Don’t wait. Download Firefox now.

References
1. http://marketshare.hitslink.com/report.aspx?qprid=0

2. http://www.mozilla.com/en-US/about/whatismozilla.html

3. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mozilla_Firefox#Security

4. http://blog.washingtonpost.com/securityfix/2007/01/internet_explorer_unsafe_for_2.html

5. http://dotnetperls.com/Content/Browser-Memory.aspx

6. http://support.mozilla.com/en-US/kb/How+to+use+tabbed+browsing

7. https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/1419

8. https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/4129

9. http://support.mozilla.com/en-US/kb/For+Internet+Explorer+Users?style_mode=inproduct

10. https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/recommended

11. https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/browse/type:1/cat:all?sort=popular

12. https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/

13. http://portableapps.com/apps/internet/firefox_portable

14. http://portableapps.com/support/firefox_portable#performance

15.

16. http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=45.1238,-123.1138&spn=0.003,0.003&t=k&q=45.1238,-123.1138

17. http://www.landofchaos.net/goldvault/?p=10

18. http://www.spreadfirefox.com/en-US/worldrecord

19. http://www.w3schools.com/XPath/xpath_examples.asp, see the section entitled “Select the title of the first book Node”

20. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Wide_Web_Consortium

21.

22. http://www.mozilla.com/en-US/press/awards.html